It wasn’t all that long ago that this phrase popped into my head. It likely has to do with the passage of time, the compilation of experiences, and clarity concerning both things.
For awhile, I didn’t consider time. Frankly, I often still don’t. Despite the awareness that I am no longer a young woman, that knowledge doesn’t derail me.
I like this time. This present time. Today. This moment has a lot going for it.
Most of the time, I’m undeterred…not entirely unstoppable, but not easily swayed off course. I know who I am and generally speaking, I know what I need and want. By the way, those are two very different things; needs and wants. And that is a maturity milestone if ever there was one.
I know that I can visit a place that I love and not have to live there to be happy. Content where I am or consider moving. Either one, but not desperately unhappy where I am because I saw something better. The first time I ever went to San Francisco, my bags were packed in my mind. I still do not live there. Maturity milestone.
This reminds me of a related subject. It’s possible, and even likely, to fall for the wrong person at some point. Maturity knows that and thinks as well as feels.
I think it takes a lifetime to figure out a lifetime. We just don’t do everything with grace and we are so very often not at all sure-footed. We feel instead of think and wind up lonely. We spend instead of invest (emotionally and spiritually, as well as the obvious), and wind up without reserve. We speak before thinking, and end up with regret. But the learning that accompanies the falling? Now that’s just mercy.
I also think it’s amazing to watch my kids reach their own mile markers of maturity. It’s happening before my eyes, and quite without my constant supervision. Hmmm….another maturity milestone for me.