My natural affinity was never to have a zillion close girlfriends. I’m not the sorority type and I know that.
In all honesty, some of the stuff we girls do just irritates me…or, did. You know, like the talking behind someone’s back, or the endless emphasis on the “outer” things, things I thought were shallow and meaningless…like lipstick and clothes when we were 14, and neighborhoods, decorators, and our husband’s jobs when we were grown up.
It doesn’t take much of a glance to see the judgmental, surface me in all that, but it took me a pretty long time to see it in myself. While I was busy criticizing girls for their vain fancies, I was really wallowing in the shallow end of the pool myself. It’s true that my natural affections are for conversations that are more focused on relationships, beliefs, aspirations and dreams. I just tend to want to go to the heart rather than the skin, but I have had some rather painful lessons through the years to understand how real girlfriend relationships are sustained.
Sometimes, depth just comes by shopping. That’s not Death by Shopping, it’s depth by shopping. Lipstick, I’ve found, is an pretty obvious mouth thing. Mouths…talking…get it? “That color looks great on you” is not a very hard opener to start chatting. Chatting leads to friendship. And decorating our homes? That’s really just about our surroundings. Can it be shallow and too important? Certainly. But it can also be about our desire to feel at home in that place called home.
Almost every post on this blogging adventure really should start with G, because growth is where I am. This one really strikes me, because of how long I’ve been in this particular learning spot. When I decided that women were just too…everything overboard for me…God started turning that ship around.
I took the leader position for our single moms class at church, and stayed in that position for like 7 years. I became an independent Beauty Consultant for a skincare company, and spent endless hours with women. I worked for a conferencing company, owned and operated by all women. Oh, and then there was my “accident”, when women I didn’t even know cared for me and my family.
My attitude began to shift. I started to see the roads which lead to our hearts. I began to understand my own heart better, and the ways that other women got to know me. And I made a concerted effort to quit being such a critical person. The mere act of making that decision was huge in changing my perspective.
My preference, in all honesty, is still to have a mix of men and women in the room, any room, but the gifts of my close girlfriends have been an incredible, unexpected joy. I know now that shopping for lipstick can pave the way to a blessing I might have once casually tossed aside.
” How does this color look on me?”