If you polled my dearest friends about my attitude , particularly in the last number of years, they would unanimously agree that I did not want my life to change. At ALL. I was perfectly content as things were…no need to ruffle things up, change the landscape, alter the equation or add any ingredients.
A number of those friends thought that was mildly, if not ridiculously hilarious. Most, though, thought it was just ridiculous. A brave few told me I was arrogant, if not outright rebellious.
No one was more surprised than me when that attitude began to soften. I have no idea when that began, nor how it began, but I know it did begin. When our eyes begin to open, and our perspectives change, sometimes it happens without our knowing why.
For me, there were things in my life that I realized I had no control over. Children things. Health things. Things. And I survived them. Those things that I would never have invited into my life, but were “for my good and God’s glory” sort of things. Pain, for example, isn’t one of my favorite experiences, but it certainly draws attention to itself, and gets us to focus on the issue at hand. I always sort of liked the phrase “Pain with a purpose”. It seems to me that all pain has a purpose. Anyway, through a wide variety of uninvited guests and gifts, my heart and life has begun to soften toward change. Even to be open to welcoming it!! Now that is radical transformation.
And then there is the possibility of joy. Not all change is hard. Some is amazing, incredible and fun. Once I opened up a little, joy and fun started sneaking up on me:-) Today, I’m glad to say, I’m having fun, my heart is more open than ever, and I’m definitely open to ruffling.
Who am I to tell God what to do with my future? Who am I to stand on this side of the Jordan, look over at where I might be meant to travel and politely say, I’m good here. No interest in crossing.