Someone told me last week that the reason something that had gone awry at work had gone awry was directly related to Mercury being pre-eminent. I think. Well, I’m pretty sure.
I think that the reason that the “something” had gone badly is because the someone (me) hadn’t done my best that day. I’m going to fall on my sword and take responsibility. Not going to blame Mercury.
Re-learning is hard at mid-life. It’s hard because my ways are so established. My responses are instinctual, my habits are ingrained, my beliefs established and validated by my life experiences. In order to do something, anything differently, it takes intention. An intentional act of my will and behavior.
Take giving advice, for example. It’s one of my greatest skill sets, frankly. I lived for a very long time, believing that I had great wisdom to share with you. “Want some? Don’t want any? Well, I’m going to give you some anyway. What you want doesn’t matter.”
I’m now trying the road less traveled. It’s not as familiar, but I’m getting used to it. I respect this way of living, and I’m learning how to focus on managing my own life, and letting you manage yours.
NOT giving advice, unless asked for, is at first a lip-biting, jaw-clamping experience. NOT telling someone that if they do such and such, they’ll drive off that cliff, and then they do, seems like intentionally pushing them off. Somehow, then, it’s all my fault and my responsibility how they live. Not going to do that anymore. And that’s the point exactly.
I’ve come to believe in the integrity of adults taking responsibility for themselves…the good and the bad, including the consequences of choices made. This isn’t easy, because it’s counter-intuitive to our natural inclinations. We are inclined to think best, know more, and take personal responsibility for others. Yet lovingly holding my tongue when someone is capable of deciding for themselves, even and especially if the consequences may be painful, seems like wisdom indeed.