Life doesn’t feel simple these days. It feels complicated. It feels uncertain. It feels cluttered.
I listed to Ross King this morning sing Clear the Stage, and started thinking about whether life IS complicated or whether I make it complicated.
When I get into my typical m.o, I strain and work to control. Usually it’s obvious what I am doing, but covert effort is part of it too. Convinced with delusion that I have control over life’s outcomes, I fall inevitably into behavior that just wears me out and doesn’t change much. I’m even often tempted to persuade others that I can handle things, and that I am capable of getting…whatever…to change its course.
I reality, my “stage” is just overflowing with stuff. Stuff that happens, stuff that doesn’t. Events that feel unfair. Things that overwhelm. I admit it, I am overwhelmed. I want things to go a different way for someone I love. I want her well and whole. I don’t want to lose her.
I had a realization not all that long ago that the very best position for me to be in is fresh out of every single thing. Isn’t God most able to meet our needs when we quit offering our suggestions and tools? When there is nothing in the bank, no ideas left, no food in the cupboards, and not a thought to offer, God is there.
Vast resources, no limits, and Wisdom I don’t have.