Not as Easy As I Thought

An update!

I am walking better.  Increased ankle rotation and easier to lift my toes.  That’s good and is making my life easier.  Hardly noticeable to most, but huge for me.

No appointment yet for a celebratory pedicure, but I look forward to that day:-) Toes just aren’t straight yet.

Maybe next time.

 

Out From the Ordinary

It’s always a new day at dawn.

I live with that expectation, as you likely do. I just know that the world spins as it does, and that I start again each morning.

I am in the habit of loving what’s here, and as I do, my ears are often numb to the Voice that is calling me.. But today, I heard. I am called to far more than what this world offers.

My life is to collide with Majesty.  Into the Glorious. And my life is to be built on the unseen.

Every day starts over, calling us to new.

Out from the ordinary…into extraordinary.

Listen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bN2zaMO8OK4

Already All I Need

I love these lyrics from Christy Nockels – formerly Watermark, formerly Sons & Daughters..

Asking where You are Lord, wondering where You’ve been
Is like standing in a hurricane trying to find the wind
Hoping for Your mercy to meet me where I am 
Is forgetting that your thoughts for me outnumber the sand
You fill the sun with morning light
You bent the moon to lead the night
You clothed the lilies bright and beautiful

You’re already all I need
Already everything that I could hope for 
You’re already all I need
You’ve already set me, already making me more like you
You’re already all I need

Walking through this life without your freedom in my heart
Is like holding onto shackles that You have torn apart
So remind me of your promises and all that You have done
In this world I will have trouble, but You have overcome

And every gift that I receive, You determined just for me
But nothing I desire compares to You

In your fullness, You’re my all in all
In your healing, I’m forever made whole
In your freedom, Your love overflows and carries me
You carry me, yes You carry me, You carry me 

These stand out, though, because I  do this over and over and ask these questions:

wondering where You’ve been
Is like standing in a hurricane trying to find the wind

Hoping for Your mercy to meet me where I am 
Is forgetting that your thoughts for me outnumber the sand

Walking through this life without your freedom in my heart
Is like holding onto shackles that You have torn apart

He isn’t lost. I was.

As easy as walking

You know that song:  “Put one foot in front of the other…”?

That song is wise, and I believe that line.  I really think focusing on one step at a time is my way of making progress.  Before I know it, I’m where I was going all along.

The thing is, my walk hurts.  Actually , physically hurts. For years now, my left foot, affected by my stroke in 2001, has decided not to let my toes straighten out.  That means I walk on the joints.  Ouch, right?  Yep.  Ouch. Understatement:-)

Today I am getting Botox injections to my left foot, calf and individual toes.  If it works, my walk can potentially be significantly improved.  Big time.

If you think the greater inconvenience is my arm, you would be wrong.  I got on top of that a long time ago, and am fully functional with doing things with my stronger hand.  The walking thing, though, is big.  It affects everything I do and how others perceive me.

The possibility of getting better balance and walking more normally has taken over a bit, I admit.  I’m a little intoxicated on the hope of it working. Might be wise for me to back off on that a little.

I’ll keep you posted.

God isn’t

…far away, not listening, nor uncertain. I, on the other hand, tend toward all of those things.

Through my current state of “open-window”, I am realizing some new things.

I lean toward fretting… I often  believe that I can  solve my own problems single-handedly, come to the right conclusions, and make perfect decisions. In truth, all I can really do is fret, which is a pathway I do not want to be on.  It leads nowhere.

My alternative:  Focusing on peaceful.  Letting things play out.  Asking God for insight.  Wisdom.  Breathing. Breathing in and out in so under-valued.

There have been so many times when perceived chaos looms larger than life.  What’s that quote?  “I’ve lived through a thousand tragedies that have never happened”. Wasted energy, wasted time, squandered focus.

We can, in a limited way, choose what we focus on.  We may not be able to stop random thoughts, but we can decide to look elsewhere.

I really love this passage from Colossians: “Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. …”.  It’s a great reminder to listen for what I can’t hear right this second, to know that I do not see everything yet.

And to trust God, who sees and speaks.

My confusion? Not confusion to God.

My uncertainty? God invites me to follow Him.

My feelings?  Safe in His hands.

It’s All good

When I woke up today, there was this big realization.  Does that ever happen to you?

Let me start by saying that my house is a comfortable 78 degrees, and waking up to that is a big thing in and of itself.

I have every expectation that I will make it out of the garage, in my car :-)

Because my mom likes pink frosted donuts from Dunkin’, I will buy one for her on my way to her house.  The Dunkin’ Donuts shop will be open for business today. 

I have hot water, cold water, two well-fed dogs, my comfy home, and a son I get to hug on this morning.  Two cups of hot, strong coffee were mine this morning, as was the creamer, cold in the fridge with half and half. As I watched the news, I did so using my remote.  Oh, and there is a remote for the ceiling fan:-).  How great is that?!?

Do you see?  Me neither, too much of the time.

But today…I have an open window.

Thank you, God, for all of it.

The messy chaos, the orderly peace.  The chance to depend, and yield independence. For Your ways instead of mine. For Your choices, instead of mine.

For waiting to hear You, and recognizing Your Voice.

Grateful heart, self bent low.