I am an adult

When did I realize that?

What was the catalyst?

Can I be both an adult and a child?

Such a good question… to ponder when I recognized myself as an adult..

We had a playhouse when we were little.  It had kitchen toys, windows, curtains and even a house number.  We played house all the time, bickering over who got to be the “mother”.

Eventually, I got to be a mother for real.  Becoming two little someone’s mom was a marker for sure.  Even if I didn’t feel grown up, in their eyes, I was.

When I was re-singled, and all on my own, I catapulted into adulthood.  Is that it?  Being depended upon surely makes me a grown up. Doesn’t it?

I think, though, that the common thread in the fabric of my adult status is loss. Withstanding the harsh winds of losing…for me its been health and divorce.

And my dad.  Losing a parent is so odd.  It makes me feel like the world is tilted…off center somehow.

Learning to stand up, get up, keep moving, re-define.  Become.

Maybe I’m just realizing adulthood now.

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