Failing

In the last several days, some dear ones have admitted to struggle.  To getting it right, but also getting it wrong.

Painful struggle to believe in Good when so much of what has …been….has been failure.  Even epic failure.

So I’ve done that.  Epic failure.  Sad outcomes, ruined relationships, heartbreak.

If we caused pain, we will embrace regret. And when pain is inflicted on me, that “undeserved” pain, we embrace painful wounds.

But the most painful pain, even if unintentional, is when we have hurt someone else, because that  is an aching hurt. A hard to heal over cut.  A sore. Self-pain.

And Pain will reach, if we can’t let it go, uninvited into our futures.  The dark seeping into expectation, into joy, to pry the joy away.

I think the admission of struggle is itself an admission of hope.

Pain won’t win.

Change is possible.

Healing triumphs.

God was always there.  God is always there.

You have been my God through all of it.