Til I Rest

Are you ever restless? That nagging undercurrent of….something… you can’t quite name?

I am. Just me…restless and so not still. The scurry, the pace, the running…often in circles, frankly.  Chasing what I think I want or must surely need.  Sometimes chasing what someone else wants.

Slave.  I am a slave in that frantic crazy.

So Susan…Be still.

But it doesn’t end there. It doesn’t end with being still.

It actually says Be still and know that I AM God.

Still never comes to me unless I rest.  Rest as an antidote for restlessness.  Stillness to understand that I’m not but God IS.

Still is partly about stopping. But stopping isn’t stillness. Resting in the sureness of God is stillness. Taking the time to stop moving, to listen, to be spoken to.  An open heart to just lean back, to drink and to swallow. Close my eyes and feel. Letting the Light illuminate.

Let me be…still.

Intentional life

New Years is a thoughtful time for me. Not just New Year’s Eve, but the whole. The moments of the passing of what’s done. The possibility of the not yet.

I’m already free. My freedom, purchased and finished. So nothing I could desire compares to that. Yet I do desire.

I’m looking for fullness, healing, overflowing love. And always listening and watching for wisdom, willingness. And a grateful heart.

When T and K were not yet, I chose life verses for them, based solely on what I was hearing. Those verses turned out to fit each of them entirely. God does indeed know us, and what we are to be. Comforting and awe-inspiring.

The verse-choosing gave way to annual themes. Choosing specifically a word or words to give direction to my steps. I started long ago to pay attention to the cracks in my life, and to intentionally focus on mending…being mended.

Last year it was about Sufficiency. Since I know I am so very incomplete, God being Sufficient is so amazing. Fragile finds shelter there.

This year it’s about being honest and wide-open. I need wisdom to be that…to do that. And I need for things to be clear. Clarity.

What amazes me about this process is how aligned my life seems to be when I choose the theme. If clarity is what I desire, then it will rise up as I need it. God’s mercies are new EVERY morning. Exactly when I need them.